MRI results… Turns out I’m not a hypochondriac after all! ?
My last six or so posts have been pretty sporadic in terms of timescales, nothing has been particularly regimental. But if you’ve been reading them then you’ll know that I’ve been having a pretty bad time with my head over the last few months.
I’m well aware that ‘Googling’ can often cause more harm than good but after 17 years of dealing with ‘more than just headaches and migraines’ Its fair to say that I’ve done more than a little bit of research on the symptoms I’ve been having.
My last post explained just a little bit into how bad things have been, to the point that for the last four months I feel like I’ve been floating along in life like a shadow of the person I used to be.
I get so frustrated with myself because I don’t feel even 20% as efficient as I was, I’ve gone from squatting 130kg at the gym to barely being able to do body weight squats without severe head pain. And all this happened within a matter of weeks.
Recently, after another Googling marathon I came to the same conclusion as I had done several years ago when I took the issue to my then doctor, but to make certain I needed to get myself an MRI.
It was almost two weeks ago that I went into that big white tube, I’m not claustrophobic at all but there were more than a couple of moments I wanted to push the panic button, it felt as though I was in there for hours!
So to the good part… After 17 years I finally have my answer and I think I’m pleased to be able to say that I was right all this time, my MRI results show that I do indeed have something called Chiari Malformation.
In ridiculously simple terms it basically means that part of my brain is a little too big and descends into my spinal area.
So what now..? Well since opening up my results at 3pm today, I’ve spent the remainder of the day pretty much bursting into tears.
I can’t decide if I’m happy or not, on one hand at last I have proof that there is and has been a problem all this time. If the MRI scan came back without any sign of concern what would I do then… Where would I start looking for answers to the pain I’ve been dealing with all this time?
However now that I know for sure what the problem is I’m freaking out about what happens next. Obviously the sensible thing to do is to clear my thoughts completely and wait until I can speak with my doctor.
Worst case scenario is that I have to shave the back of my head, undergo surgery to have an incision made and have a piece of skull removed to relieve the pressure off my brain… Pretty dramatic I know but here’s hoping that may not be necessary.
Fingers crossed now that there’s a definite starting point then there are lots of other routes to try first.
All sorts of thoughts have been whirling round my head since I was sure I had this problem, the main ones being that I’ll never be able to weight lift again, as far as I know any heavy lifting is a big no-no… so much for joining the powerlifting team here then!
The other and the more upsetting one for me is that based on the research I have done so far and from reading various Facebook pages the problems I now face show little proof of being cured. It’s possible to stop the symptoms getting worse but what scares the crap out of me is that I might be stuck living the past four months the same way for the rest of my life…
But on the flip side I’ve always had an ambitious streak and after having a sit down with hubby, more tears, and a few of those amazing big hugs he gives when I get entirely consumed in his arms, we’ve decided that there are two options.
Either I can roll over belly side up and let this rule me and ruin mine and my families life, or I can flip the bird, shout ‘screw you’ and show the world that I have a lot more to achieve before I let this drag me down to the dark depths of hopelessness.
All I need is a little time to really let things sink in, an appointment with my doctor to get the next ball rolling, plenty of Super squishes from the monsters and a few more goals to keep me focused…
I am more than a little lucky to have an amazing family around me as well as some pretty awesome friends.
I WILL STAY POSITIVE!