The date is set..!
Shit just got real…. (Sorry mum!)
Little over a week ago I set a preliminary date with my now official surgeon. Two weeks today and I’ll be in hospital ready to have surgery. Yes I’m pooping my pants, and not just a little bit… But like I keep being reminded it’s what I’ve been waiting for. So here we go!
The next 14 days will consist of me getting things in order, mostly with work to make sure everything is on target and fingers crossed will stay on track whilst I’m recovering. My clients are brilliant and have been fantastic with the crazy short notice that I’ve kinda just thrown at them! Work is one major issue that I’m confident I have dealt with, between that and freaking out a few times a day there’s only one other thing I’m focusing on, and that of course is my family.
It’s been tough staying calm and smiley a lot of the time as I’ve been in so much pain and hearing the kids screaming either with laughter or anger has been hard to cope with, it’s been more a case of the quieter, the darker the better.
I’m praying that a few weeks after surgery and I’ll happily sit with the monsters whilst they scream with excitement right next to me and I won’t even have to wince at the sound. But for the next 14 days I’m going to soak up as much of them as possible, regardless of them being happy or arguing with each other. Just to hear them will be enough, especially as I’ll be without the little munchkins for a week when I’m in hospital.
Odly though, I am a little excited about going to hospital, I’m incredibly lucky that I’m able go privately for my surgery and the hospital I am going to looks like a hotel, just the foyer with the reception desk is swankier than anywhere I’ve ever stayed before! Plus I’ve heard incredible things about the food so in my head I’m treating it as a mini getaway, there’s just an added spot of brain surgery is all!
I’m also nervous about leaving home, even if it is only for a week, I’ve realised just how much I’ve come to rely on Craig these past few months. Little by little, day by day I’ve been incapable of more without even truly realising it. He’s even knocked prep on the head to ensure home life can function smoothly and there’s as little stress around as possible.
So what exactly is the plan when it comes to surgery then..? Well, I’ll be going in on March 9th in the early evening, then scheduled for surgery the following day, not overly convinced that I’ll get much sleep but that said Craig’s constantly moaning because I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, any time anywhere… So you never know!
The on the surgery side of things, and this is as simple as I can get, (if you’re on the squeamish side you may not want to read this part!)
- When I’m out for the count they’ll shave up the back of my head (although I’m getting Craig to do this before I go in as a little memorial thing)
- An incision will be made down the back of my head to roughly the top of my neck
- Then they need to use something pretty similar to a dremmel I would imagine to grind away a hole in my skull
- Next the surgeon plans to cauterise my cerebral tonsils
- There may also been a need to grind down part of my first vertebrae but that’s not 100% decided yet
- After this hopefully there will be lots of room for my cerebral spinal fluid and then they’ll be able to glue a patch around the hole in my skull and sew me up…
Simple right?? Honestly, I don’t know why I’m freaking out so much! Ha!
But all joking aside, of course there are risks with this, as with any surgery. But what’s the alternative, to live the way I have been for the rest of my life and just wait for things to get worse?
At least having the surgery gives me a fighting chance at becoming the person I was 6 months ago, sure, I’ll have to take things slowly but at the end of the day progress is progress, no matter how small.
My plan is to keep a Chiari diary from now until the surgery and then for my recovery weeks, mostly for myself but for anyone who’s interested to follow along. This way I’ll be able to keep track of my symptoms and will be able to notice any significant changes in pain.
What I really hope is that comparing my diary from before the surgery and after then I’ll see improvements, but I guess only time will tell!
That’s about it from me right now, my heads a little on the crazy, overwhelmed, spinning side so I’m just going to sit here and process things for the rest of the evening…
G’night all! xx
