The return of Fit Mom Ding
I honestly don’t know where to begin with this post, its been a long time coming but dare I say it…. I’m back baby!
I whole heartedly feel like the me I never ever thought I would be again, the me I was so desperate to be again, the me I thought I had lost forever.
It was roughly this time last year that things started to go wrong… really wrong… I hadn’t been diagnosed with Chiari Malformation at this point but I can still remember being in floods of tears at what I thought the bleak future looked like ahead for me. I could barely make it through the day without having to take regular naps, reach for handfuls of painkillers, or even get Craig to do the simplest of things like picking something off the floor for me.
I was constantly exhausted, always felt excruciating pain in my head and had barely any love for myself. To feel the way I did, knowing all the while there REALLY was something wrong with me but to have nobody in the medical field take me seriously made me feel so hopeless. But there was obviously light at the end of what I feared to be the darkest road I had ever been on, a few months later and I finally got the diagnosis I had been waiting years for.
Long story short, I had the brain surgery I’d been desperately needing and 9 months later here I am, back to the me I adored being, the very best me.
Enough of the miserable past, onto why I’m so excited about life again!
The last couple of weeks have been amazing, I’m working morning, noon and night in the office, have been at the gym training hard and heavy 4 times a week, made loads of time with the kids, found time to be creative and make things again and have smiled so much! And I’m so happy about this because…? THIS is how I used to be, this is the way I like to be, the way I thrive and I’ve been doing it over and over again without flagging, sure I’m tired, but not exhausted and holy crap am I excited about it!
For the first time in so long I can see goals ahead of me again, nothing feels like it is out of reach anymore, hell, I feel like I could reach up and grab a star from the sky if I wanted to!
Since surgery I’ve been so up and down about how I thought my recovery was going. Don’t push things, take your time, you’ll get there. I was either feeling good about my progress or so negative about it, thinking I would never get any better than I was, feeling stuck in a rut. But I’m praying now that those days are behind me and I can keep being the me I love, this me, happy me.
Training is going so well that I’m even closing the gap on my best lifts and to feel like I’m chasing something that I thought I’d never be able to do again literally brings tears to my eyes!
Onwards and upwards. I refuse to let anything stand in the way of me moving forwards, especially a hole in my skull and having some of my brain removed, if anything it’s exactly that that keeps me pushing harder, I don’t want it to be an excuse for me not to be able do something!