Finding the right shoe

Tonight feels like a good night to witter about general rubbish…

If I was a shoe I’m pretty sure Id be a welly boot. Sturdy, strong and almost un-breakable. 

It’s true what they say, if the shoe fits and all… And it feels as though I’ve been trying on every shoe ever made and none of them have felt ‘just right’. Until now at least.

I keep finding myself trying to fit into the mold of what my mind thinks is acceptable, the norm. The acceptable way to look, to behave, to socialise, to run my day and ultimately the way in which I imagine people think I need to live my life.

But the truth is I don’t feel comfortable trying to fit in with everybody else. It just isn’t me.

I tried the hair extensions…. again, went back to the gel nails and tried slimming down and making myself more of a girly girl. And then it clicked. I’m not a girly girl.

And you know what else? It doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if I’m more muscular than other girls, if I have, as so many people have told me… ‘strong legs’, if I don’t wear much makeup or if I spend as much of the day as possible wearing my comfy sweats. It’s these things that I like the most, and it’s these things that make me who I am and the reason I’m happy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love to get dolled up once in a while, put my heels on and put on a full face of makeup, but to do that all the time? Not a chance!

There are three main parts to my day; training, work and the school run. I spend my day either at the gym or at home, any spare time I do get I want to spend with the kids, or just pottering about the house getting on top of odd jobs.

I would definitely class myself as an introvert. There are times I like to socialise, but more often than not I’m happy in my own little personal bubble of routine. I guess I’m happy being an online socialite as opposed to a physical socialite?

Back to being a welly boot.

I still don’t know why I feel the need to try and fit in with everyone else, why I worry about what people think, or what they may or may not be saying about me, why I am so concerned with being judged.

I need to take a leaf out of Craig’s book. He’s the total opposite of me and doesn’t give a flying **** about what anyone else might think or say about him, just gets on with life. If I could be more like him then I’d spend less time stressing and there’d be more time to chill out and enjoy life.

Enough random jibber jabber.

This welly boot is back in the gym, loving it and you know what else? I’ve just this week taken the first steps to my next goal, a goal that I thought I wouldn’t even be able to get anywhere near after my surgery; I’ve just started my new power lifting programme, and I can hardly contain my excitement!

This is me as I am now, and I love it… I love the way I feel and I love the way my body keeps changing, getting stronger and more defined.

And if someone doesn’t like it? Well screw them, it’s only an opinion and you can’t please everyone.

But the one person I do need to please is me.